It’s been a decade now I watched the movie, “ Finding Nemo”. There was one dialogue in the movie which did leave a mark on me. But now the application of the dialogue holds much more weight. My kid made me realize it.
Often knowingly or unknowingly I tell my kid, “ No No No… don’t to this. This will happen. No! If you do this that might happen. No – I cannot allow you to do this; you might fall. No- do not run in the parking lot. You might get hurt etc etc etc.”
As my child is growing and is able to associate the environment around her she has started questioning me. She is questioning all my “ No’s”.
Recently when I told her that I cannot allow you to ride the cycle in the parking lot she questioned, “ Then why others kids in the apartment can?” My response, “ You might get hurt.” Her reply, “ So? If I don’t get hurt how will I know what hurt is mom for riding cycle in the parking lot.”
My reaction, “ I said No. Means No. Do not debate. ”
Mama, “ Every time you tell me that I will allow you to do this or that when I grow up. I am growing mama and if you do not allow me to do things when will I do? How will I learn? I will only keep growing.”
The movie had a similar story. Nemo’s father was very protective about him. He used to tell his friends that I cannot let anything happen to Nemo.
One day Nemo father’s friend told him, “If you do not let anything happen to Nemo how will ever anything happen to him.”
Nemo father’s friend was right! We all live thinking that if we allow certain things which are not conventional (definitely not letting to ride the cycle in the parking lot) good may not happen?
Age is no bar. We need to allow new things to happen to our children. This is what personality development is- letting them be what they are. What they want. What they can be. Most important identifying and letting to try new.
Personality starts to develop as they step into school. They start interacting and associating themselves with their peers. That is the beginning of recognizing oneself vis-à-vis others and the person in them starts questioning, identifying and associating.
Personality is a constant evolution. There is no hard and fast rule to wait for teenage or latter years to come to do so. Rather teenage should be used carefully to shape their personality which we have allowed to develop in younger years with the required not imposed guidance. Further years will itself follow.
May be then only the spirit of trying will get inculcated as they grow and who knows what wonders they might create!