The academic year has ended! Throughout the year I have been waiting for a particular subject’s folder to arrive at home. It was not shared with us nor did I get a change to glance at it in the PTM’s. The curiosity developed for it was by listening as well observing to my daughter’s thoughts, words and expressions at various points.
The first one was when I landed up asking her the standard stereotype question “ Whom do you love the most?” as well assumed the answer, “ You Mama….. I love you a lot and then Papa… ”
I was awe struck! The answer was not Mama but “ ME! I love myself the most and then you, papa, loom bands, Alina, .…..list was endless.” Without giving myself a moment to reflect upon I questioned her, “ Who taught you this? Do you know the meaning of it?” “ Mam Mama! Mam told to love oneself and if I love myself I can love others.” Quite impressive.
The second one was on one of the wild morning for not drinking milk on time; getting delayed for bus and some end moment demands of not having a red color sharpener dot at 7.20AM. Two cute little arms unfold upon me and say, “ Don’t get angry! I will not miss the bus. I have the magic power.” As expected the stereotype response came from me, “ Magic! It is not time to have fun. Please get ready…..” Mama, “ Mam told us to believe in yourself and do things thinking we can do it.” And her little belief lied in the fact that she will not miss the bus.
The third surprise was a generic statement to me. “ You know I can make you do anything for me…” While I was contemplating on the same the answer followed. “Mam gave us the list of magic words today and told us that we can do and get anything by using these words.” In a usual tone my response was, “Magic Words? Ok. Tell me how?” Her enthusiastic response was, “ Please, Sorry, Thank You, Welcome n Excuse me….are the magic words.”
Everyday tasks; to do lists and aspirations… once again made me miss the innocent gleaming eyes while she was expressing these to me. Now looking back to her innocent responses and interpretations at various points make me pause and reflect upon that in the rate race of making her cope up with life’s bigger achievements and discipline- drink milk, don’t play coz mosquitoes will bite, pleasssse practice- improve your handwriting……………… I am missing to know the real lessons of life she has already learned and is still doing so.
These were just a few instances but if I really think hard there are plenty of them she is implementing in her life in her own little ways.
No doubt the LIFE SKILL folder was worth waiting the wait which has unfolded the true lessons for my sweetheart. Perhaps what me and you may be missing!
Today after five years I am able to understand the meaning of what my father told me when my kid was born!
I never realized that the way I am conducting my life each day-each second whether to do with job, cooking, talking to people around me, mannerisms I display in a restaurant, patience I show in other people’s conversations, irritation about traffic jams, emotions, observation, thoughts, ideas, stress, to small things like bargaining with the vegetable vendor my kid is a constant witness to the same.
Knowingly or unknowingly she is randomly picking up the attitude and words I showcase in small to big situations of everyday life. Sometimes when I find her reactions “weird” and try to correct the same the immediate response is “ Mama you do this way!”
The easiest self-defense mechanism I use to myself is, “I cannot be perfect everytime.” However my heart does undergo guilt of not imparting the right attitude which would be such an integral part of her upbringing apart from the best of the school I would try to send her to; apart from the best of the activities I am trying to indulge in her into and apart from the modern gizmos and gadgets which we try to provide her.
Attitude, Stress Management, Positive Thinking, Enthusiasm…. list is endless and most important which every working mom can relate to is handling motherhood n career with confidence, smile and enthusiasm instead of loads of guilt inside. Believe me whether you have a son or daughter managing everyday life with right attitude and words is the best gift you can give your kids to have much more successful and rewarding life.
We are wrong to assume that attitude and thought management can be guided when they grow up; they will learn as they face the society. They learn it right from the time they learn to express themselves generally between three to four years of age to begin with.
My father told me that evening, “You are not going to just upbring your child; you will be upbringing a generation to come by and which will pass on for many other generations to come”.
And I got it now!
Anarkali -word which has becomes synonymou to party wear salwar kameez has added a new twist to its look and style this year – GOWN STYLE ANARKALIS. They personify elegance as they blend the cut and style of European gowns with the design, embellishments and appearance of Indian ethnic wear.Gown Style Anarkalis have not replaced the traditional anarkalis in anyway! The traditional anarkalis dominate the semi-formal and party wear segment and will continue to do so as nothing can replace the look and feel which they give in this segment. They retain their charm and with time only more and more design elements are added to them.The chronology has been from straight cut to umbrella cut to semi-anarkali to pure anarkalis with variation in length to compare -long-longer-longest which is also the in-thing now.
The floor length anarkalis are also much sought after alongwith the gown style. And believe us these lengths look very nice and different as one must try and adopt to new styles to think, look and feel different.Stritva recommends to try this new cut and style of GOWN STYLE ANARKALIS and add a flavour to the ethnic corner of your wardrobe!!
Simple straight cut kurta in jute cotton. The colour is a combination of subtle pista green and off white with bright coral embroidery. The key attraction of the dress is the back neck as shown in the pic which makes the regular kurta look little trendy. It can be worn on trousers as well.
Note: Inner is recommended. The leggins is to suggest the combination and is not part of the package.
It’s been a decade now I watched the movie, “ Finding Nemo”. There was one dialogue in the movie which did leave a mark on me. But now the application of the dialogue holds much more weight. My kid made me realize it.
Often knowingly or unknowingly I tell my kid, “ No No No… don’t to this. This will happen. No! If you do this that might happen. No – I cannot allow you to do this; you might fall. No- do not run in the parking lot. You might get hurt etc etc etc.”
As my child is growing and is able to associate the environment around her she has started questioning me. She is questioning all my “ No’s”.
Recently when I told her that I cannot allow you to ride the cycle in the parking lot she questioned, “ Then why others kids in the apartment can?” My response, “ You might get hurt.” Her reply, “ So? If I don’t get hurt how will I know what hurt is mom for riding cycle in the parking lot.”
My reaction, “ I said No. Means No. Do not debate. ”
Mama, “ Every time you tell me that I will allow you to do this or that when I grow up. I am growing mama and if you do not allow me to do things when will I do? How will I learn? I will only keep growing.”
The movie had a similar story. Nemo’s father was very protective about him. He used to tell his friends that I cannot let anything happen to Nemo.
One day Nemo father’s friend told him, “If you do not let anything happen to Nemo how will ever anything happen to him.”
Nemo father’s friend was right! We all live thinking that if we allow certain things which are not conventional (definitely not letting to ride the cycle in the parking lot) good may not happen?
Age is no bar. We need to allow new things to happen to our children. This is what personality development is- letting them be what they are. What they want. What they can be. Most important identifying and letting to try new.
Personality starts to develop as they step into school. They start interacting and associating themselves with their peers. That is the beginning of recognizing oneself vis-à-vis others and the person in them starts questioning, identifying and associating.
Personality is a constant evolution. There is no hard and fast rule to wait for teenage or latter years to come to do so. Rather teenage should be used carefully to shape their personality which we have allowed to develop in younger years with the required not imposed guidance. Further years will itself follow.
May be then only the spirit of trying will get inculcated as they grow and who knows what wonders they might create!